Sober BlogHer

July 18, 2008 | Be Merry, Reds, awake

I’m in beautiful fresh-air San Francisco this week with a gajillion other women for BlogHer. I was somewhat nervous about coming to such a potentially alcohol-centric event again, but it has been completely lovely.

I’ve caught up with some of my lovely on-line writer pals and will meet some more of them this evening.

Kid-free vacations are so relaxing.. which is perhaps obvious to most thinking people but hasn’t always been so obvious to me.

I just returned from the Frida Kahlo Exhibit at the SF Museum of Modern Art and was blown away by the beautiful lengths many of us go to kill ourselves off for love. Here is a woman who suffered, transformed physically and emotionally and transformed her suffering into art. But her sorrow in many of the paintings is palpable. It jumped out and grabbed me by the throat until I had to swallow and breathe.

Lucky Girl

May 22, 2008 | Be Merry, Because of God, Reds, awake

I’ve just received some wonderful news. I’ve got an official book contract with a small publisher from San Francisco. I’ll be writing a book about parenting in early recovery and it will come out next Spring.

To get paid to do something I love is an honor I cannot completely fathom.

Thanks to all for the ongoing love and support.

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In other wonderful news, my beloved younger brother Mark and his beautiful wife Rebecca have a brand new healthy gorgeous baby boy! Welcome little angel!

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Also, a reflection on Memorial Day and LBJ’s Great Society

Welcome to the Home for Wayward Mothers…

May 21, 2008 | Reds

Where the men are silent and gorgeous, and the massages are free…

 More on Wayward Mothers at Imperfect Parent today… For perves only.

Trailer Dreams and Open Field Wishes

May 15, 2008 | Reds, money sucks

Like many families these days, ours is lowering expectations and attempting to simplify our life. We’ve had our house on the market for a few months now… and other than proving that people with 3 children under 7 can clean their entire house in under 3 minutes, not much has come of it.

We bought the house when we were both working full-time and had enough to put down on the house our mortgage ended up being pretty reasonable.

Fast forward a couple of years, and things have changed.  I’ve embraced freelance work full-time and have a greater desire and commitment to spend more time with the girls.  We agreed it was a higher priority to live in a smaller house or rent for awhile than for me to go back to work full-time.

But like so many other families, healthcare costs, student loans, and a few poor money-decisions leaves us turning a little pale at each month end.

I can’t help thinking… “I’m almost 40, shouldn’t I be financially secure by now?”

More about the reasons our generation is falling behind our parents, today at Babble…

5 Reasons We’re Falling Behind Our Parents

4 for 4

May 12, 2008 | Reds

I had my very first school Mother’s Day celebration and it had everything a mama could cry over, including beautiful artful creations by her beloveds, a sweet song about mamas by the class, and loves and hugs from my 3 beauties.

Life is good.

Today at Babble: 5 things you swore you’d never say to your kids…

Hiatus

April 28, 2008 | Reds

Note to my 30 readers… I’m taking some time off of blogging here to work on some other projects. Thanks for reading… and I’ll be back soon.

You can find me in the meantime at Babble and Imperfect Parent.

Dare

April 25, 2008 | Ask Me Something, Be Married, Because of God, Blues, Reds, awake

Sometimes I feel like a transvestite trapped in a straight woman’s body. Heels? They should be high high high. Makeup? Sparkly, heavy, and colorful. And dresses? Yes yes yes.

There has been much talk on the ’sphere lately about women who deign to write personal things on blogs about their children, or feelings, or political beliefs… About how the act of creating art is so devalued and fetishised in our society that anyone who even dares use the word “art” or “muse” is chased with sticks.

Especially in a day and age where the Internet cloaks people in enough anonymity that they feel free to let loose their mean subterranean rage. Don’t believe me? Check out the rage this little opinion about $4 gas evoked…

Self-expression, whether sparkly gaudy makeup, religious beliefs, writing, or spouting opinions is a dangerous and necessary act. If one has the courage to speak from the heart, after the kids and the marriages and the mortgages tell us we better shape up and act like a lady (or at least act “mature), the pressure to keep it all tamped down is pretty strong. But let’s not fool ourselves, also scary as hell.

So today I dare you to do something that is from your heart. For you. Some small secret place you’ve been waiting to open up and tell someone about.

Do you dare?

If nothing else, go share her wonderful news!

Spring is in Their Hair: The Joys of Making Them Play Outside

April 23, 2008 | Reds

In my neck of the woods weather is relatively mild, but even so, the rain and mist and gory grey makes a person (no matter how tall) want to curl up with a good Diego episode and eat a cookie.

With all the evidence that our kids are the fattest, least active, most addicted to television since the Goddess invented children, most parents are plagued with worry. Are they getting enough exercise? Eating too many McNuggets? Do they realize how much TV the ‘rents watch after they go to bed? Will they (please God) do as we say and not as we do when it comes to being physically healthy?

Fat chance. Your only hope is warmer weather, or at least a cessation of the sleet and hail and snow.

Read more at Imperfect Parent…

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Also, why $4 per gallon gas is a good thing.

KFKD Radio – Are You Listening?

April 21, 2008 | Because of God, Reds

The thing about recovery is that we’re all in it. Recovering from something. Bad childhoods, bad clams, bad breakups, bad timing. But we’re also recovering from self delusion. When we get lost in the scary woods of our own minds, we make bizarre claims about what we need and where we’re going (“Honestly, this job is great for me! Yes, it’s in the middle of Antarctica and it’s minimum wage, but they give you your own winter jacket!”). Whether you’re talking to an imaginary executioner or judge, this self-justification can create a whole mess of wrong choices.

Anne Lamott talks about KFKD radio — that self-loathing noise between our ears that keeps us hunkered down in isolation and waiting for Godot.

I’ve been trying to find the courage to be myself for awhile now. Finding the True North inside and trusting that it’s right and good. Not hiding away, tamping down, lowering the volume, or turning it up to screeching angry volumes. True North. That place in each of us that sits back on soft pillows and sighs knowing that all will be all right in the end. Even though we’re turning 40, our marriages are a mess, our kids will grow up and leave us, and the house isn’t selling.

KFKD radio tells us that everyone is more important than us, that we don’t deserve happiness and peace, and that we can’t write our way out of a wet paper bag and should just be a secretary somewhere since all we’re capable of is answering phones cheerfully anyway.

I used to drink to drown out that station. Now I pray. And go to meetings. And love my kids like they are my bones and blood. But it’s all such a mess. Not a beautiful mess (yet) but I’m hoping one day at a time it soon will be.

But this is all so depressing, so I must also say this. I’ve never had this much serenity in the face of so much struggle. And honestly, if that isn’t recovery, I don’t know what is.

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On the lighter side, Are you a very serious parent?

and

5 Frugal Living Ideas that Stink 

Today at Babble

April 15, 2008 | Reds

How to be a Passive Aggressive Parent

and

 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman